Facebook Check-in Freak
by United Profilers
Summary: Spencer Reid has a whole new kind of obsession, much to the rest of the team's annoyance. Crack-fic.


**I do not own Criminal Minds or Facebook.**

**Crackfic and slight OOCness.**

Supervisory Special Agent Derek Morgan removed his cell phone from his pocket after it vibrated. He was either expecting Hotch or JJ to be telling him that a case had come up, or Garcia simply sending him one of her cute text messages. When he activated the screen, he saw that it was neither his boss nor two of his colleagues trying to contact him. In fact, nobody was trying to contact him. His phone had buzzed because of a Facebook notification that was on the status bar. Taking his finger, he pulled down the menu and shook his head at what he saw.

_Spencer is nearby at FBI – Federal Bureau of Investigation._

Scoffing, he crammed his phone back in his pocket. Reid finally had a Facebook account, after a lot of convincing from him, Garcia, and JJ. And to think, they had been so hellbent on getting the kid to join the social networking bandwagon, considering they had a much easier time getting Hotch and Rossi to join. Eventually, the young doctor gave in and made himself an account, Morgan and the girls had been pretty proud at their accomplishment, but when Spencer got the mobile application on his phone, that's when they all started to regret what they'd done.

The mobile app had some feature known as a 'check-in'. The user could look at a map and select from a list of nearby check-ins for the place they were at to inform their friends and family on their whereabouts. Check-ins included work, an event, or even someone's home.

But when Reid discovered this, he became obsessed with 'checking in' to every place he was at. On his days off now, instead of lounging in his apartment and reading 12 books, he often took walks and visited places just so he could add a new 'check-in' to his profile's map. Places such as various small businesses, to popular landmarks like the Washington Monument, the White House, and last but not least, the FBI headquarters.

Morgan looked around, the day was still early, but it was going rather slow. After grabbing a small stack of paperwork off his desk and placing it on Reid's, he opened up Facebook on his phone to see if anything new was going on with the world. Once the app loaded, the dark-skinned agent scrolled through statuses.

_Emily Prentiss  
__11 hours ago near London, United Kingdom_

"_Yorkshire pudding is one of my new favorite foods."_

_Penelope Garcia likes this._

Derek scrolled down to read the next.

_William LaMontagne Jr.  
__19 hours ago_

"_Henry is becoming quite the athlete. He rode his tricycle all the way down the street and back today. Don't worry everyone, I was with him the whole time."_

_You, Spencer Reid, Jennifer Jareau, and 5 others like this._

Stopping, Morgan tapped Reid's name and went to his profile. The kid wasn't much of a blogger, or a photographer, so his profile wasn't full of statuses or pictures. Rather than that, it was unsurprisingly full of check-ins. Check-ins were everywhere, and the number by his map read "823".Derek's eyes widened a little at the huge amount, but with all the notifications everyone got when the kid added a new location, it really shouldn't be all that surprising.

"Are you stalking my profile, Morgan?" A distinctive voice spoke all of the sudden, startling the older agent. Morgan looked up to see Spencer looming over him, a large steaming cup of coffee in his hand.

"No, I was just, erm, looking at Facebook and I accidentally went into your profile." Derek fibbed. Reid just rolled his eyes at the response he was given and sat down at his desk, oblivious to the noticeably large tower of paper. But unlike typical days, where he would instantly dig in, he pulled out his phone to browse Facebook.

Morgan smirked at him. "The ever so awkward Dr. Reid, who at one point in his adult life didn't have email is officially addicted to Facebook."

"I'm not addicted." Reid defended. "I'm just attached."

"Oh sure, so that's why you have to make a post every time you go somewhere. 823 to be exact."

Spencer tore his gaze away from his phone so he could glare at his friend. "So you were stalking my profile."

Derek chuckled. "In reality, kid; on Facebook, everyone's a stalker."

"But I don't stalk people." The younger man mumbled. "Hey, dd you know that there are several dozen Spencer Reid's on Facebook? Strangely though, a lot of the accounts appear to be impersonators."

Derek turned back to Reid, still smirking. "Sounds like you must have a few fans, maybe even a secret admirer or two."

"Oh, please." He groaned. "They could be trying to copy a totally different Spencer Reid. One who happens to have brown, curly hair."

"Wait, what happened to the whole 'I don't stalk people' thing just a moment ago?"

"I meant-"

"Morgan, Spence," JJ called out to them. "We have a case."

Derek sighed exasperatedly. "Just great." He got out of his seat like it was suddenly the hardest thing in the world to do. Spencer on the other hand almost leapt to his feet. In his mind, he was thinking _Yay! More check-ins on Facebook!_

* * *

Rossi felt a movement in his pocket, he pulled out his phone to see what was going on. He shook his head a few seconds later.

_Spencer Reid tagged you, Alex Blake, and 3 others in a status at Seattle-Tacoma International Airport (Sea-Tac)._

"Reid," Dave started. "Do you have to do that everywhere we go?" Spencer only responded with a silent shrug. "I'll take that as a 'yes'." They piled into the black SUV that was waiting for them out front and drove to the southbound lane on the interstate. They drove for almost two hours thanks to the traffic. Hotch and Rossi were discussing more details on the case they were about to get involved in, JJ was talking to Henry on her phone, Morgan was listening to music, Blake was reading a book, unlike Reid, who decided that looking at Facebook for the dozenth time was more interesting.

_Spencer Reid is at City of Olympia Police Department with Jennifer Jareau, Derek Morgan, and 3 others._

By now, Morgan was for certain that they had unintentionally created a monster.

"Where was the victim last seen alive?" Hotch asked the chief.

"She was last seen by her co-workers. She worked at a Victoria's Secret outlet in the Westfield Capital mall on the west side of town. Her body was discovered floating on the edge of Capital Lake by Heritage Park."

Aaron nodded. "Thank you." He turned to his awaiting team. "Alright, Rossi, you and Blake go to the scene where the body was found, JJ and I will interview the family, Morgan, you and Reid can interview the victim's co-workers." Derek's eyes widened at this.

"Hotch, you mean we have to go to-"

"You're just gong over there to ask them a few questions, you'll be fine." The Unit Chief assured.

"Not with _him_." Morgan pointed a finger directly at Spencer.

"What do you mean?" Hotch raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, do not tell me you're not aware of the kid and his stupid Facebook tags!" He rubbed his face. "I am not going to a women's clothing store with Reid! I know he'll tag me in one of those damn check-ins, and people on Facebook might get the wrong ideas! Or worse, Garcia will blackmail me!"

"Just search for the people you're looking for, flash your badge, get the answers you need, and get out. Simple as that."

"Easy for you to say, you're not the one going with Reid to a Victoria's Secret store."

The BAU leader pinched the bridge of his nose. "Fine, you go with JJ, and I will interview the co-workers."

"Thank you." Morgan breathed. He quickly hurried over to JJ and they all split off to their designated locations. During an 8 minute drive, one where which Reid spent the whole time looking at Facebook, he was so occupied that he didn't spout one fact about the case, or the geography of the state or city they were in. But that didn't keep him from saying any at all.

"Did you know that over 200 million people use Facebook every day by either smartphones or computers?" The young genius quipped. "In October 2012, the social networking site reached 1 billion users. Considering we're part of that statistic, isn't that amazing?"

"Fascinating." Came an automatic reply. "Reid, please tell me you're going to work on this case a little bit, right?"

"O-of course." Spencer stuttered.

After arriving at the mall and finding a place to park, the two profilers got out of their vehicle and headed for the closest entrance. Hotch found the store they were looking for and he casually strolled in with Spencer still with his face buried in his phone. He finally put his device away when they approached the cashier's counter where two young women were at. Aaron felt his pocket vibrate, but he didn't bother checking to see what it was, for he already figured what caused it.

"Hi, I'm SSA Aaron Hotchner, and this is Dr. Spencer Reid, we're with the FBI. We'd like to ask you two a few questions about your friend."

"Only if I can ask a few questions about _your _friend." One of them said with a sly smile. "Is he single?" Hotch and Reid shared a glance, Spencer's cheeks were as red as the walls.

After an interview that was half spent with the two girls flirting with Reid, they left the store and the mall altogether just as Hotch's phone started to go off again. Giving in, he pulled it out and turned on the screen. Mostly Facebook notifications, but the most recent one was from Morgan. Vaguely curious, he opened it up to see what it was about.

_Spencer Reid  
__21 minutes ago near Olympia, WA_

"_Just interviewing potential witnesses." – with Aaron Hotchner at Victoria's Secret  
__4 Comments_

_David Rossi "Are you sure that's ALL you're doing?  
__4 minutes ago near Olympia, WA_

_Penelope Garcia "Do my senses detect blackmail material here?"  
__3 minutes ago near Quantico, VA_

_Jennifer Jareau "Nice gong, Spence, now Hotch won't want to go anywhere with you."  
__3 minutes ago near Tumwater, WA_

_Emily Prentiss "Am I missing something over there?"  
__3 minutes ago near London, UK_

_Alex Blake "I'm not even going to ask."  
__2 minutes ago near Olympia, WA_

_Derek Morgan "Hotch, don't say I didn't tell you so."  
__16 seconds ago near Tumwater, WA_

Frowning, Hotch pocketed his phone and silently climbed back into the SUV. Reid followed suit.

Almost a week after they arrived, they caught their man before he could clam another victim. Tired and ready to go home, they headed back for the airport, eager to call it a day on yet another case closed. After learning that their flight had been delayed by 15 minutes, the exhausted group settled on some hard chairs. Their private jet was due for maintenance so they were stuck with commercial flights until it was finished. During the wait, everyone's phones vibrated, indicating that Spencer, the Facebook Check-in Freak, had struck again. Hotch suddenly felt a smirk forming on his face. He retrieved his phone, opened up Facebook, and began to type a message.

Reid felt his own phone vibrating. Confused, he pulled it out and tapped the notification that was on top, he was then brought to his own post which had a comment on it.

_Spencer Reid is with Derek Morgan, Jennifer Jareau, and 3 others at Seattle-Tacoma International Airport (Sea-Tac)  
__About a minute ago_

_1 Comment_

_Aaron Hotchner "Reid, delete that last post from the mall or I will push you off the plane."  
__9 seconds ago near Seattle, WA_

Spencer hastily did as he was ordered.

**The End!**

**Don't ask... :P**


End file.
